There have been times when I, thought about quitting, but during these times I have also thought …will this help me ?

I have been a courageous girl, atleast that’s what I had like to believe. All those times when life was pulling me down I have struggled and held my head high even though I was shivering beneath and I could barely keep my legs straight.

Hi! I am thirty one, and I am going through “MIDLIFE-CRISIS“. I am totally confused how to continue my life from here. So, I am an female, and have seen till date all the adversaries what an average adult faces, excluding – natural calamities ….also no extreme things ..let me clarify ! What I mean is usual stuff like birth, death, love, betrayal, friendship, finance ..etc.

After going through all of the above I have somehow survived, reason could be that I was a stay at home wife. So I would say I was ‘naive’ and I have no reason to say so …. because then the question arises …Was I living under the stone ?. To that my answer would be ..yes! I was living under the stone, why else would I have never seen that, the answers of my life were peeking to me on my face all this while and I was just not looking! And all this happens only after I start working.Going out of the house helped me in so many ways than I can put in words, I am confident, I know where I stand in my career – I know my career goals, I feel independent and that is an awesome feeling ! .

I wonder why staying at home didn’t help me being confident, I guess doing regular chores and not challenging myself had made me lazy and lethargic. I had stopped using my brain. All the work that I did at home were monotonous and physically tiring but not rewarding, so I stopped thinking about growing any further and whatever problems I faced, rather than resolving them on my own I began to depend on others to resolve it for me, because I was at home in my comfort zone…. and didn’t want to be bothered with everyday troubles if they were out of my home zone.

My dreams had taken a back seat and I would stare at them from afar and then lie down on my comfy bed stretching like a cat!. I would give excuses to myself that all these issues can be handled later, right now I am busy with this chores – that chores, and that later turned into month’s and year’s……

Anyhow, now that I finally started working and stepped out of my ‘comfort- zone ‘I am loving every day as it comes. I have started understanding that the problems that I had were not problems, problem ….was my attitude towards it. When I think about life as an outsider all the solutions seem simple. Yet, I say I go through ‘MID -LIFE CRISIS’ ………….why?

Well to start with …now I know what my ambition is, where most of my life I thought I was born ambitionless. I also know now, that my health is my priority…not for my child or to please my spouse neither to look good among peers but for my own well being. These are my top most priorities and I finally understand them when I have already crossed thirty!

Now that I have realized my goals I have no clue how to work, to make them come true. I know its never too late to begin and I am ready to start, but do not know from where?

So after long time I have taken first step to make myself independent. Gradually I plan to work towards my dream. I always loved writing and just writing this piece has given me a feeling of liberation……….to let out words that crowd my mind. But this is just the beginning of my goals, there are many more to conquer. So once again I gear myself up to face this crisis and I am sure I will figure my way out of this…

I am glad that I have found my purpose to live and have to work tirelessly to achieve it, for what else do we live for?. It’s nice to fight each adversaries and feel victorious everyday, even if it means for smallest thing possible.

I think MID -LIFE -CRISIS is more of an achievement to me! By now I know what things I have done wrong, I have already faced some tuff times, I have already enjoyed and wasted lot of my time like there is no tomorrow ( by the way I don’t regret that, cause now I have some great stories to tell my grandkids! ) .Now it’s time to work towards what I have not done and that is achieving my ‘goals‘.

Now it’s time to rise and shine and achieve those goals which were meant to be mine.Now it’s time to live and not just exist!.

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